I’m writing this before our little man arrives (I suspect my blogging time might be a little reduced following his birth..?).
A second pregnancy is definitely a different beast. The first time around you can truly revel in being ‘with child’. When maternity leave hits, (all going well timing wise), you can have weeks to nap, read, chill out, enjoy decaf coffees…
Audrey is a July baby. I had at least 5 weeks before she arrived in sunny Brighton, just enjoying some ‘me time’ and falling asleep regularly to my hypnobirthing CD.
This time around, I finished work with 4 weeks until due date, I fear he’ll be early (we’re week 38 now), but I only get 2 days a week of “me time” anyway (whilst Audrey is at nursery) so it’s really not the same. I don’t feel like I have blank weeks ahead that I can fill with baby grow folding and preparing for birth. I have our usual routine, plus tiredness, plus heartburn and I’m waking in the night for all manner of reasons (Audrey being one of those from time to time, but being uncomfortable/needing a pee/leg cramp etc etc also involved).
I have to lift Audrey a lot because, well, she can’t walk. And I have to walk around pushing her in the buggy because we don’t have a car and that’s how we get about, with a bit of bus travel thrown in. It’s not a big deal, but it definitely makes me tired. And she’s tiring because she’s a curious child who wants cuddles or books or snacks etc. Or me sat on the floor with her or her sat on the sofa with me. (She’s kinda bossy).
I have several fears this time around (last time I think I put it all off and didn’t feel like a baby was really coming, this time I can’t deny it!)…
– Exhaustion is probably number one, because I love and need sleep and I cannot see how I’m going to get enough with two kids to look after.
– Labour is also up there; I didn’t go into labour with Audrey, she stopped moving and I had an emergency C-section. I’m happily trying for a ‘natural’ birth this time (with no objections to a few drugs!), but the unknown is still strange and scary.
– Doing enough: how on earth can I breastfeed, entertain, cuddle, feed, clean, rest, leave the house… With 2?!? Eek.
– Just being a good mother and having enough love to give to a second child that is following in the footsteps of one of the most loved children on the planet.
At the same time, I know it will all be worth it to grow into a family of four. I also realise a lot of people have had two or more children and have survived to tell the tale.
But wish us luck anyway please!