The first time Audrey was invited to a birthday party (by a child who’s parents we didn’t know – a nursery friend), it was a real example of how she was accepted and liked by her “typical” peers. It was a big deal.
When we went to the party, we all had a good time overall but Audrey did show signs of being “different”. She wouldn’t eat (and the food on offer was the stuff of dreams: crisps, blueberries, chocolate cake, sausages…) and she asked to go home. She wasn’t crying, distressed or upset, she was just… uncomfortable.
We had a couple of other party invites and basically decided it was important to always get out of her comfort zone and see how she got on (rather than say no and miss out through fear). Again, we saw Audrey not eating (despite the selection of food being perfect), asking to go home or complaining it was too loud, but we never let it stop us trying, because she often enjoyed a little dance and she always left happy.
And then it happened- she ate at a noisy party. She joined in. She didn’t complain. We had a great time.
Now both our kids live for parties! (Because they love music, presents and cake).
So we were pumped last weekend to be offered a chance to go to Big Fish Little Fish at Stanmer Park for a – wait for it – family drum n bass/jungle afternoon rave. As we set off to drive up the road we realised that (yet again), we had left the kids’ ear defenders. We have them for events just like this and we literally never remember to take them, so the kids just have to make do and deal with the noise.
We arrived on a very sunny day to the amazing marquee of bubbles and play tunnels and a very loud sound system and I admit, I was a little worried. But Audrey (and Rex) bossed it. They came in, ran about exploring and got stuck in. Audrey showed a wobble initially when she had no interest in having some apple juice (funny this is a measure of how uncomfortable she is, but it is!), once she had settled she took a sip and I knew we were ok.
She showed enthusiasm for the face painter, again, something I shamefully would associate as something she “might not like because she has special needs”, but I knew she had dabbled a little at nursery and she seemed keen, so we queued up. When I sat her in the chair, the face painter asked me if Audrey had had her face painted before and she was just very considerate and gentle with her. Audrey was a really good girl and the face painter was so fast that before I knew it, I was looking at the most beautiful tiger in the world!
Aside from dancing, drinking juice, climbing through tunnels and rolling out play dough, there was also the fabulous outdoor space filled with “rustic” climbing frames and slides for the kids.
Audrey was unsuitably dressed for this in her fabulous Tootsa McGinty dress and Next tiger wellies, but oh how she surprised me with some supreme climbing! Rexy too (but it’s extra tough for Audrey with her low muscle tone).
As someone who regularly sticks to routine, taking the kids to the same groups/parks/cafes that I know “work” for us, it seems a little crazy to be saying this, but it’s good to step out of your comfort zone sometimes. Kids love routine and it can be hugely stressful if you do something new and they hate it or misbehave, but you’ll never know unless you try.
Last Sunday we went to see my Nan (the kids’ Great Grandma), which I thought would probably be stressful/chaos, but was actually great. She has just been moved to an old people’s home and she is almost 99 – Audrey’s middle name is Emily, after this nan. Emily lit up seeing Audrey and Rex, but so did all the other old people in the home, they looked so happy to have children running around, it was great. The kids loved the piano there (and made quite a bit of noise, but no one minded).
That same day, we were going to the seaside, the kids were excited (because, despite living by the sea we rarely go down there). I thought that would be a really fun activity, but instead, the sun disappeared as soon as we pulled up (literally, a weird sea fog arrived and the temperature dropped). We got down onto the sand and Audrey’s nose was running, the cold wind was blowing and no one was having any fun, we were all shivering. But at least we tried!
Next week are trying a new dance class at the marina. Watch this space!!