Sentimental nonsense

I have a tendency to hoard stuff, often through sentimental attachments. I love to reminisce, I love to cling to the past and I revel in a bit of reliving moments, even sad ones.

We are moving and clearing out mountains of “stuff”. There is so much crap in our flat and I recognise that most of it is here because I can’t let go. Letters from 20 years ago, magazines from my youth, stuffed toys, old books, plastic nonsense, even ancient make up… None of it is easy to just throw away, but it needs to be done and I am getting better at culling all the crap-o-la.

A strange thing about moving is the emotional attachment I have to this (rented) flat and the neighbourhood. This is where Audrey was conceived (sorry, too much info?), where she grew in my belly and where she came first after her little 3 week stint in hospital. Her first trip outside in the buggy was to St Ann’s Well Gardens (a park, less than 5 minutes away) and it’s also where she had her 1st birthday party. When we move, we’ll have a different local park. A different shop I’ll nip to, to get something for dinner or Audrey’s endless supply of bananas. A different bus stop to take us to her various appointments at the hospital or children’s centre. And what’s even stranger, all these silly things I’m clinging to… But Audrey won’t remember any of it! This will be a place we say we used to live, but it won’t mean anything to Audrey.

I realise that it won’t be long before we have forged new memories in our new house and new local park. The staff at a different Co-op will coo over her and wave hello back, I’ll wave at a different coffee shop owner that I’ll pass several times a week… But it’s going to take a while to get to that point.

What’s weirder is that this move is likely to be where Audrey will start school (eek!). Yes it’s a couple of years off, but we plan to bed in and save save save (ultimately to buy one day), so for now, this home will be the home and will dictate Audrey’s school friends. When she was first born, I dreaded school for her… But now… I’m so excited. 

Yes, I know things won’t always be peachy, but I have this vision of her early days and the vision is; she rules the school. High fiving all her buds… getting them in on dance routines in the playground… books books books! I’m pumped about Audrey showing a whole new bunch of kids how cool a kid with DS can be.

And so we move on (well in a few weeks anyway) and I’m praying for that “Indian summer” that grants us some sun in September, so we can enjoy our new garden!

As always, I’ll end with some pictures of the beauty… One below with Great Grandma (the inspiration for her middle name; Emily), who turned 96 recently.


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